did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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