do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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