My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
