Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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