i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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