so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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