some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
