so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
