I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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