I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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