this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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