I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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