last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
