Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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