so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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