I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
