i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
