The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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