bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
