listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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