I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
