I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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