Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
