She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
