If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
