I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
