Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
