it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
