I accidentally burped into my bong.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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