I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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