gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
