dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
