My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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