I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
