I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
