Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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