It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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