omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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