you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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