im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
