Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
