when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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