I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
