batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
