I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The air was thick with penises
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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