I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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