I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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