no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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