I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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