He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
