I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
