Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
