I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
