I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
