Umm I'm too high to move.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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