She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
