addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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