things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
