Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
