I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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